Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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