You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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