Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Too much gin, very little bucket
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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