You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
