I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
