I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think people are normalizing furries
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
