porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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