I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize
