Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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