I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
