I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
