so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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