Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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