I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize