I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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