if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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