Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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