Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm at about main and main street
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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