she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
