Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
