we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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