I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
