Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
