just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
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you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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