last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize