You really coming over, don't trick.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this hospital has no fireball
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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