I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
