im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
