Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
