Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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