I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
