ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
how does that bad decision feel?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
