sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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