If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
