apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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