I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
