the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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