You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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