I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize