Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
