there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
