I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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