i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
