Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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