i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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