people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
