i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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