I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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