I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.