I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.