I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
foreskin is a definite game changer
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell