i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction