Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven