that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
