so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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