i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
