Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
