It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize