I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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