like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
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I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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