The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Let's get the cat blown out
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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