my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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