Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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