were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
